My Mama went to heaven in 2008... I still have conversations with her in my head, I catch myself picking up the phone to call and tell her something, I miss our talks, our shopping trips, our giggling and silliness. My Mama was my best friend and I won't ever stop missing her... so I talk to her through this blog... hey it helps me!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Family is Coming Apart, I Think

We went to Fontana this past weekend, Mama. It was tense, stressful, we left a day and a half early. I just couldn't take it.

Seemed like everybody was trying too hard, Daddy was tense and nervous with his new wife there. We shouldn't have gone. I got in a fight with everybody for making my new husband feel unwelcome and now nobody's speaking to me. There just doesn't seem to be the cohesion there was once. I wish you were here to talk to in person. I don't have anybody to talk to who understands... my husband is upset and all he can see is how he was treated and he doesn't want to have anything else to do with them because of it.

I blessed 'em all out and of course the comeback was totally defensive, they'll never see how they treated him, whether it was intentional or not... and I'm sure it was unintentional, but it hurt just the same. I feel like the black sheep... it's not a good feeling.

We had noticed a reticence, a stand-offish sort of attitude toward my husband for awhile but I thought it was because we weren't married and were living together... I think we had high hopes that the feeling would be different once we "did the right thing" and got married. Guess not. Why do we have to be so judgmental toward one another? I don't understand... it hurts so much and nobody seems to care how much I hurt... they just think they're right and can do no wrong and the gossip and backbiting and defensive walls keep accelerating... I don't know what to do!!!

I miss you Mama!

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